When did I change from Dad to Grandpa? I suppose
probably in the same time frame of life that my Dad and many other Dads’ did.
When my wife and I started having children it seems
my dad almost immediately became known as Grandpa.
When the children started talking of course he was
Grandpa but Donnie and I had started calling him Grandpa long before that. He
was Grandpa from that point forward until he passed away.
When our children started having children my
official name seemed to magically change to Grandpa. And like most Grandpa’s I
liked the name a lot. In fact I seemed to feel some kind of a glow when my kids
as well as their kids called me Grandpa.
When I was traveling out of town and got home late I
always gave my wife a kiss then went in to see if my children were asleep and
made sure they were covered up and then gave them a kiss on the cheek. Of
course if they were awake when I got home this never happened. I am sure this
ritual was more for my comfort than it was for theirs. They were so innocent
and peaceful looking as most children are when they are sleeping. Of course
kissing on the cheek was out of concern for a dad not a grandpa.
In a lot of ways it is much easier to be a grandpa
than it is to be a dad. I think for the most part a grandpa gives advice to his
grand children in a loving humorous way when appropriate or in a serious way if
that is called for. But as a dad it seems there was a lot more serious than
there was humorous.
As a dad I seemed to be preoccupied with providing
(what I thought) were the necessities of life. As a grandpa providing fun time
and fun memories seem to take on more importance.
I loved holding my kids and grand kids on my lap (in
the hole) and either reading to them or telling them some of grandpa’s “made
up” stories.
I loved to prove to my kids and my grand kids that if
I held them tightly to me and walked the floor and hummed to them they would
quit fussing and go to sleep. I think that worked almost all of the time.
Grandchildren for the most part are very accepting
of a grandpa’s love and affection. Of course as they get older they seem to
think that you are OLD and of course they think they know more than you do.(And
of course in many cases that is true Ha Ha.)
My dad had a saying, “never give advice to your
married children unless they ask for it.” I guess it kind of rubbed off on me
also. The older I got the more I thought the same way.
My dad also had a “tongue in cheek” saying he used
to repeat. “The prettiest Christmas Lights are the kids and grand kids tail
lights on the car backing out of the driveway and heading down the road.” I am
sure it was not serious as he loved his grand kids. I also never did take to
this saying as I have always loved to have the kids and grand kids in our home
during the Holiday season.
Several years ago I thought of the idea of writing
my grandkids a Birthday Letter instead of sending a Birthday Card. It turned
into one of the most enjoyable things I have done. I could tell them how much I
love them. I could tell them what expectations I had for them and I could try
and guide them into a good education and I could just share my thoughts with
them. I am not sure they all liked my “Grandpa’s Advice” but I think they must
have gained the knowledge that I loved them all and each one individually. I
only wish I had thought to do it for my children when they were young.
One thing I have found out is that grandpa’s make
great bulletin boards. You know the kind I mean; a sweatshirt that says “Super
Grandpa” or “My grandkids are cuter than yours.” The sweatshirts advertising
that I have been to Alaska, or Panama, or Bermuda. Then a son or grandson’s
school Football Team or basketball team. Then there are the hats that do the
same thing. If all Grandpa’s decided to stop doing that the country’s economy
would drop 20% overnight.
Grandpa’s are almost always on the side of his
grandchildren. It does not matter if he is standing against parents, teachers
or peers. Some say he is spoiling them but he knows he is just sticking up for
them as his grandpa did for him. Well, and perhaps just a little spoiling.
It is hard to believe that grandpa’s ever get old
but believe me they do. It seems like all at once they cannot play catch, hike
a mountain, and walk beside a fishing stream and many other things. However
they always have time to tell a story or read a book or watch a movie (that
perhaps they do not even understand) or just hold a child on his lap and rock
in the rocker for a while.
I am not sure when I turned from a Dad to a Grandpa
but here is a list of things that happened during that transformation.
1. Riding in the back of Cracroft’s truck and
picking “weed heads” until the allergies almost made your eyes swell clear
shut.
2. Rafting on the rivers in Utah & Idaho.
3. Feeding the ducks and geese at Sugar House Park
and the Duck Park.
4. Camping and cabining as family.
5. Taking the kids and grand kids to Disneyland.
6. Listening to Piano recitals.
7. Attending back to school nights—sometimes good
ones- some bad.
8. Car parts scattered all over the car port FOR
WEEKS at a time.
9. Family B-Days for many years—they started with my
Dad.
10. Tradition of feeding a fish named STAR at Island
Park.
11. Trips to Yellowstone.
12. Family deer hunting trips.
13. Snowmobiling.
14. Marriages.
15. Attending sports activities—both boys and girls.
16. CHRISTMAS WITH SANTA IN OUR BASEMENT.
17. Having friends of our children gather at our
home and having fun.
18. Just sitting as a group and reminiscing—telling
old time family stories.
So it has been a wild ride for me--- and I guess I
am still a Dad and a Grandpa and I guess I also am not sure exactly where I fit
right now. Perhaps it will be as a Great Grandpa?
Thoughts in October 2012
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