Deseret News
Summary
In terms of dress,
Americans have gone from formal to slobbery in the last 50 years — from Ward
Cleaver's suits to Homer Simpson's too-small T-shirt
I
never thought I would write this sentence, but here goes: Americans have taken
casual dress too far.
Maybe
it’s my age.
Maybe
it’s the era.
Or
maybe it’s that disgusting, hairy man eating tikka masala at the table next to
mine – in shorts and a tank top.
It
could be that.
How
do I put this tactfully?
Americans
are slobs.
It’s
not that I want everyone to wear suits and ties on airplanes the way they did
in the ‘50s and ‘60s, especially since airline travel has has gone from being a
pleasurable, special occasion to a sweaty, harried nightmare that lasts about
as long as this sentence.
On
the other hand: Do we have to look like The People of Walmart?
That’s
where we’re headed.
The
horror.
I
grew up in the ‘60s and ‘70s. My generation invented casual. We were
anti-establishment. Our style, if you could call it that, was post-hippie meets
American teen peasant. That was the start of the decline. Succeeding
generations have taken it down several notches from there, so that ultimately,
in terms of style, we went from Ward and June Cleaver all the way to Homer
Simpson – from hanging out at home in suits and dresses to an undersized
T-shirt with an exposed belly.
You
know what I’m talking about — women shopping in sweats, pajamas, yoga pants and
Spandex; men and their armpits wearing tank tops in restaurants.
You
see couples out for a weekend dinner at a nice restaurant. The woman is dressed
in a color-coordinated outfit that she evidently picked out after some thought,
and her man is wearing something he found at the bottom of the laundry pile at
the foot of the washer. He doesn’t know it, but he is sending a message, and
that message is: We're married, she’s stuck with me, I don’t need to try
anymore.
I
quote Cher Horowitz from “Clueless:” “So, OK, I don't want to be a traitor to
my generation and all but I don't get how guys dress today. I mean, come on, it
looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take their
greasy hair - ew - and cover it up with a backwards cap and like, we're
expected to swoon? I don't think so.”
Now
even some of the women are throwing in the towel, which I suppose is better
than wearing one. They show up at the mall in sloppy shorts and an old T-shirt.
This also sends a clear message: I give up.
A
word about Spandex and other form-fitting casual/workout attire: Some people
believe that because, say, Jennifer Aniston looks good in Spandex, so will
they. This is not true. The percentage of the population that looks good in
Spandex is approximately .0000001. What are the odds that this includes us?
I’m
no expert on the sartorial arts, but if I could offer a few suggestions …
Under
no circumstance should men wear tank tops in a restaurant that doesn’t have
arches in front of it, because who wants to see armpits while they are eating
(or doing anything else, for that matter)?
Clothes
must fit. They must cover the essential areas, including the backside, if you
know what I mean, especially at a concert when an entire family is sitting
behind you for two hours!!!!! (You know who you are).
Cargo
shorts, old basketball shorts, T-shirts ... fine in most settings., but a
wedding reception?
Men,
if you are on a date with your wife or girlfriend, would it kill you to leave
the bean dip-encrusted Broncos jersey at home and clean up for her a little?
But
we dress for comfort, people say. Fine, just don’t leave the house.
Bottom
line, America: Let’s class up the place a little.
The
New York Times published a collection of articles in February called, “The
Casual Couture of the Average American.” It mentioned that clothing makers are
producing a line of tailored sweat pants. Oy.
Jonathan
Walford of the Fashion History Museum (did you know there was such a thing?),
wrote, “Liberated from stuffy tradition, post-‘60s style was reinvigorated at a
grassroots level. But soon a disdain for artificiality, a desire for comfort,
and just plain slovenliness won out.”
And
from fashion psychologist Karen J. Pine: “Psychological research confirms not
only that we are what we wear, but that we become what we wear. So dress with
caution, or a conscience.”
Amen.
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