THE CEMETERY

THE CEMETERY

It seems the last month or so I have spent an inordinate amount of time at one cemetery or another. There are a couple of reasons for that. One is because my wife's Birthday is in August and the other is because my youngest grand daughter, Bailey Grace, was born in October and was only with us for two days. She would be six years old this year.

When I go out to visit Donnie I have found a meditation bench with the name SHAW on it. I am sure they do not mind me using it. It is only a few steps from Donnie's grave and it is under a big tree which provides shade in the summer, so I have taken to using it when I visit.

Sometimes I just sit and think, sometimes I take the newspaper and read it and there have been a couple of occasions when I take my lunch and eat while I talk to her and reminisce. Of course the conversation is a one way one and I sure wish it was not.

A couple of times when I have been sitting there I just started watching the people that come and go. It was interesting and it started me to thinking---- Why do people come to visit cemeteries? I am sure that there are many reasons and they are not all the same for all people. The more I sit and meditated the more I wondered.

First almost everyone brings flowers. Some are cut flowers, some are potted flowers and some are silk flowers. I wondered if they do it as a remembrance of the person? Of course there are other decorations left at other times of the year. There are small child toys on children's graves. There are flags (especially on the 4th of July), There are small Christmas Trees, Fall decorations and of course Birthday Flowers with a date on them.

One day as I sit and watched for a hour or so I observed---- An older man and woman drove up and stopped. They struggled to get out of the car. He took her hand and she put her arm around his waist and they walked a few steps to a grave where they just stopped and stood quietly looking for some time. After they left I went and looked at the headstone and it was the grave of a young man 21 years old who had been dead for 38 years. I presume it was their son and they still had a desire to visit him.---A group of four teens (I think) pulled up in a bright blue convertible. They were laughing, smiling and enjoying each others company. They stopped and jumped out, each grabbed a bunch of cut flowers from the back seat and walked to the grave and lay them on the grave. They did not use a vase, they did not try to stand them up, they just lay them side by side in the grave and still smiling and laughing went back to their car and left. I thought to myself, "I'll bet that was their Grandpa and Grandma and very likely they were standing right by their side and enjoying the smiles, vigor and happiness of youth while they were there visiting."--- Not to long after I arrived, a group of four cars arrived at a site nearby and about 20 Polynesian people got out. They brought numerous beautiful flower arrangements  and flowers in planters. They also brought two coolers and water. There were people all over and of all ages. It was obvious they were enjoying a family get to gather. A couple of toddlers ended up sitting on the graves and I could imagine them sitting on their Grandma and Grandpa's lap. I am sure the Grandparents were enjoying it. I wondered if the family picnic thing was a tradition with this family or was it a culture thing for the Polynesian People?

Another interesting thing that happened another day when I was at the cemetery was two cars pulled up and six people got out. It was obvious they had not been there for a long time or they just had a vague idea where the grave was. As soon as they got out they all fanned out and started going up and down the graves trying to find a certain one. After a short time one yelled and waved her arms and the rest swarmed to her like  bees to a hive. They stood by the grave and talked about five minutes and got back in their cars and left. I could not help but wonder if they had come because they felt an obligation. was it a yearly tradition or was there some other reason for getting together at the cemetery?

Of course the main reason I visit the cemetery is because I feel a special relationship with my wife, my eternal companion. I also know that is not her in the grave, but who knows, maybe she is sitting on my meditation bench with me. It also helps that my Mother and Father's graves are just a few steps away.

The other place I visit frequently is my youngest grand daughter, Bailey Grace. She was only with us for two days but I think everyone in the family is drawn to her for one reason or another.

Whenever I visit I leave a child's toy or a flower or some remembrance that I have. Often when I return to the grave they have been stolen. I am certain that people who steal from a child's grave (or any other grave for that matter) will for sure get their REWARD in HEAVEN!

Well enough of this "musing." I just thought it was fun "people watching" at the cemetery. As my family probably knows by now I am a certified "People Watcher."

WALLY