LONLINESS/SOLITUDE

LONELINESS/SOLITUDE

   I set here today looking out my window and watching the world go by. A car passed by  (way to fast in my opinion), a bird carried a twig for her nest, up into the tree on my front lawn. Then there was the ever present "wasp" floating around with it's wicked looking legs hanging down, looking for a crack or a hole in my home in which they could build their nest. 

   My mind started to wander and I thought about the past many years of experiences I have had. Even when I was young I liked solitude, or was it just to be alone. NO, that could not be it, because I always wanted a friend or two to be around. 

   I have always loved being in the mountains. It did not matter if it was hiking, hunting or just laying on the earth in the green covered forest and watching the white clouds go scudding by. My friends and I could lay there for hours just enjoying the shapes of animals and other things as the clouds presented them to us. Of course like most kids, we also did that while laying on our lawns at our homes.

   Since my wife passed away I have come to realize that there is a big difference between solitude and loneliness.

   Solitude seems to me to be when you go into seclusion by your own initiative. Perhaps you have isolated yourself for a specific reason and for a given period of time. Or perhaps you have gone into isolation on your own just because you enjoy it. You are just removing yourself from others so you can think or ponder or just enjoy nature, art or music by yourself. Perhaps you want to be remote from other people, or even remote from your regular habits and comings and goings. If it is just solitude you can go back to your regular activities when ever you want to.

   Now loneliness, I have found is a completely DIFFERENT THING. Loneliness to me is a very UNPLEASANT emotion. It is sitting in the same house that you have lived in for many years but not talking to anyone, (unless it is your self.) It is (pardon the expression) like being in the world but not part of the world.
   As I said, loneliness is unpleasant. It is like being isolated, when you do not want to be isolated. It is like having a lack of friends or companions that you can have a conversation with when ever you want to.

   Fortunately I have overcome the loneliness feeling. I may still live in solitude but I realize I have many friends and family when I need them.

   And now what "pops into my mind"----The Electronic Gadgets--- There are computers, I-Pads, Telephones (all different kinds), E-Mail, Texting, Facebook and a myriad of other ways to contact and stay in touch with people. Yes, I am involved with most of them but when it gets right down to it there is nothing like a good face to face conversation, which might invoke a good laugh or even a good cry. And of course E-mail is OK but in my opinion (and I realize I am just an old grandpa) it will never replace a hand written note or a hand written letter that may be a treasure in the future.

       Then there is the "Blog." Some of my kids got me to start one and I am glad they did because I am enjoying it, even if just for my own pleasure. It is enjoyable to hear how people relate to it and I can even keep my "solitude" if I desire. And perhaps it will also get rid of some loneliness if it keeps hanging around.

   Well I started this blog and train of thought tonight as a soliloquy on LONELINESS AND SOLITUDE, but it seems to have gotten away from me?
          W.R. Baldwin 10 April 2015