TO MY GIRLS

TO MY GIRLS

Edited to use as a blog on 12 Dec. 2016

                                                TO MY GIRLS  

I don’t know if this is a good thing or not, but never the less I am going to put some thoughts here on how I have been feeling recently. This is not a note for my blog. It is just a personal thing that I want you girls to know.

   First I love you more than you can imagine. Since Mom has gone my life revolves around you. It still breaks my heart that we are not all close as a family like we used to be,  However I think I have come to grips with that and realize I have done all I can do and I keep hoping we will eventually become close again if we all work at it.

   I know I am getting older.  I have a lot of small aches and pains that I don’t even discuss with anyone, so if I seem to be out of it, or seem not to be my regular self be patient with me, I still love you I have already passed up the average life expectancy, which is 76. I am not complaining about that but just making a comment. As I get older I make some mistakes. Please forgive me and again have patience with me.

   I am very much aware that I do not hear well. Please try to explain to your children (my grandchildren) that I do not ignore them, but I just have a hard time hearing them. Even though that may be hard for them to understand, I still have plenty of love to go around. I hope that they remember I helped teach them a lot of things when they were young, and many times I am sure they could not hear and understand me--- tell them to be patient with me.

   I know sometimes you may think I am stubborn when I say I don’t want help when I do some things--- but it is not because I am stubborn it is because by using my muscles and my thought process they may last another week, month or year and that will benefit all of us. Please be patient.

   When I want to drive my car and it makes you nervous, please let me! I will tell you when I don’t think I should drive anymore--- and remember who taught you to drive on the mountains and back roads around my little home town. I loved you and was patient with you so you please do the same for me.

   You can’t imagine how dumb I feel when I have to come to you, or one of your families, to help me with a problem with one of my electronic toys. Please don’t be impatient with me as it embarrasses me. Just remember there was a time, in the way distant past, I used to sell, install and work on hospital equipment that cost tens of thousands of dollars. So be patient and try to understand how I feel when I can’t do things myself anymore. Just smile and show me how and we can “chuckle” about it later on.

   I know older people sometimes frustrate younger people. We forget what we were talking about, right in the middle of a sentence, or we go in the next room and forget what we went for. When this happens do not worry about it because the important thing to me is not what we are talking about. The important thing to me is that you are here with me to talk and to reminisce; being together is what is important. I cannot imagine being old, sick and alone by ones-self.    

   It seems I am rambling, so to sum this all up---it sounds like a “cliché”, but I love you girls more than you can realize. I think as I have become older and feebler, I know what true love really is. Patience and love seem to kind-of go along together.

   When my old feet and knees really give out, they have not yet; I hope you don’t think I can’t do anything anymore. Yes there will be things that I will not be able to do, but as Doctor Parkin keeps telling me I am a tough old guy. One thing I will always be able to do is love you and give you a hug, even if you have to bend over for the hug. Just be patient with me, yes I already understand what is happening to me in my old age.

   I hope I do not become cranky, but if I do I hope you will understand and be there with me during the hard times.

   As I said in the beginning, I love you very much; I love the time you take to spend with me.

   It means a lot to me that you are here for me when the “little things” happen. A light bulb to be replaced, or to run to the store because you think my refrigerator looks empty, take me for a Doctor appointment (of which there seem to be a lot more here of late). I love going to lunch and of course then there are the FAMILY GET TO GATHERS, for any reason.

   So remember when I say I love you and give you a hug, it is not just a figure of speech, I really mean it and it is really something special between us.

DAD

9 January 2016