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Thursday, July 24, 2014

FRIENDS

                                            




                            



         FRIENDS

I have been thinking about friends quite a bit for the last few months. A lot of things have caused that. When you get my age a lot of friends have passed on and a lot more are waiting patiently or impatiently.

Just an example is that several years ago a group of friends from my old home town decided to get together and have breakfast and talk and reminisce. When we started there were typically 14 to 20 that were there twice a month. Now there are 4 or 5. So are those 4 or 5 still GOOD friends, or acquaintances, or just like to get together and talk about “the good old days.”                                 

Another example is what happens when I meet a few of my real old friends. We shake hand, bear hug and pat each other on the back—and then we start talking about things ,just where we left off talking last time we met, even if it was months or years ago. I have to ask myself, “Is that because we don’t have anything else to talk about or is it just that OLD FRIENDS love old memories?”

I am sure many people like myself, have become friends with people because of different circumstances. Obviously some of those would be the people you grew up with, some you went to school with, some because they were friends of your wife when you got married and maybe some just because of a quirky experience you had together. Some of these people have some of the same interests I do but also some have interests that I have no interest in at all. For example I think of one person, who like myself loves to do genealogy (or as I say-look for dead people), but they also love to go to the opera, and I have absolutely no, none. zero interests what so ever in Opera.

I think any person who has best friends is very fortunate. In many cases that is a person or persons who have been through a crisis or a wonderful experience with you. I don’t know how it works but my best friend has always been my wife. I also have best friends who I have known most of my life, some who I have met through Church activities and some who it just seemed we had a bond the first time we met.

I cannot remember where I saw them but here are a couple of signs that give us a message about friends: ---1.The strongest drug that exists for a human is another human being. 2. (sign in greenhouse)   It takes a long time to grow an old friend.

A couple of exercises that I have been keeping track of, or doing for a few months have been interesting. One was to think of things you have done in your life that you have REALLY enjoyed. The other is what would you do for a friend if they ask you for help, and what might you ask a friend to help you with?

Of course I am pretty sure that everyone has heard the saying that. “A dog is man’s best friend.” Now that may or may not be true, but I find it interesting that some of the friends throughout my life have loved dogs and some did not want anything to do with them. I guess the conclusion is that a friend does not have to be a person or a “people” but perhaps some would prefer a dog or a cat.  

The last thing I was thinking about as far as friends go was if it is so enjoyable to be with them why do we seem to split up over the years. Of course there are many reasons. We move to another part of a city (and that seems like the other party may have fell off the edge of the earth, instead of from one part of the city to another.) We may relocate a long way away. We may have a change of interests, for many reasons. Some friend relationships break up because of change in social status. Some get married and the new spouse is not comfortable with the other spouse’s old friends.

Sometimes all or part of these reasons are not real at all but just imagined. However I have friends that this has happened to in almost all the cases. And yes, some were real and some we imagined.

I think that anyone, who has friends, whether they are new friends or they have associated with them for many, many years, is very fortunate.  I also think friendship is a two way street. It would be very difficult to try and have a good friend who did not also consider you their friend.

I am fortunate to have friends. I thank all of you who have been a friend whether it be for a few months, days, years or a lifetime. Also my wife’s friends who have taken me under their wing and tried to keep me on the straight and narrow, since she passed away. I truly thank you for your friendship.

Well enough musing about Friends. That’s one more thing (Out of my bucket list) that I have been urged to comment on.

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