Donnie-My loving Wife

In a few weeks it will be one year since Donnie left us. In some ways I cannot believe it has been that long, then other times I think about it and it seems it has been much longer. I wrote this little tribute just after her funeral and I have been thinking about it a lot as it gets closer and closer to 1 December.

The rains came down today as if the heavens were crying with happiness and joy as they were receiving one of their own back from her sojourn here on earth.

Our Mother, our confident and the person who brought joy into my life was returning home to her Heavenly Father after a life of service, and of bringing joy and happiness to all the people she knew during her journey here on earth.

Of course it is selfish of me but one of my first thoughts was of my plight--- “What will I do without her?” “Who will cheer me up when I get in my doldrums state of mind? What will happen when I just want to hold her hand and talk? Of course the past several years it has always been my wife Donnie that I turn to. She was always there as my wife, my shoulder to lean on, my confidant—My Eternal companion. Again I ask, “Who will it be in the long days and nights of the future?”

Her last years were years of pain and suffering, but most people would never know that because if they asked her how she was doing the answer was always.”I am Fine.” Of course those of us who really knew her knew she was not fine and she was almost petrified at the thought of dying. Of course everyone knew she was confined to a wheelchair, but few really knew how bad she was suffering and how afraid she was of dying. She wanted so much, to stay here on her earthly journey to play with, cuddle and spoil her new great grand children.

She was a precious jewel in our life. She was our wife, mother, grandmother and great grandmother and she was such an inspiration to all of us. She especially loved the young ones in the family and she loved to have them come and play a game of cards or Sorry or whatever they wanted to. She did not care what. She only wanted to be with them.

Her one goal in life, if she had “one goal” was to keep her family close to her and she did her very best to accomplish that.

I am sure she is one of the Angels in Heaven now. I am not sure exactly how the Heavenly Plan works but I picture her there, as a beautiful, caring lady, just as she was here on earth and planning and doing good, along with her son Steve, Bailey Grace, My Mom and Dad and any others who want help in any way.

I am sure she is bringing a little joy, happiness and peace of mind to those on the other side of the veil just as she did while she was here on earth with us.

My question still seems to be---“What am I going to do without her?” I sense her in our room at night, I go to her gravesite and talk to her, and I know she hears me, but I long for her voice. To hold her hand or just to jump in the car and go get a hamburger and talk and reminisce about all of our good times. People say she is not suffering, and I should be thankful she is not longer suffering the torments she put up with the last several years. But I do miss her—I am happy she is not suffering--- But I long to touch her and I am lonely.